Beautiful in His eyes!

2008-01-31T18:12:00.000+08:00

Permanent blogshift this time. never coming back.

http://marielleariel.tumblr.com

love!

2008-01-29T17:04:00.000+08:00

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"Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

Sometimes good bye's the only way"

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im up.. at 4am.. high on coffee. thus here i am. having the spur of typing whatever that comes to my caffeine powered brain.

my life now.

Wake at 9am, school, eat, exercise, coffee, absorb as much info as possible into the oh-so-finite-mind-of-only-20-minutes span of attention, sleep at 4am.

i love my life.

Once in a while id deviate from this norm, to have a bit of spice to my now so study strickened life.

.....

Food for thought from what i realised in Lit and the Christian Child.

DID YOU KNOW?
Issac was 25 years old when abraham was tested to sacrfice him on the altar.

i had the image of issac being a small child not knowing what on earth was going on when his dad tied him and put him on a pile of firewood for no apparent reason.

For all you know, Issac climed onto the pile of wood himself to be sacrificed. Issac's like 25, and abraham was 124 years old?

how on earth was it possible for Abraham to CARRY issac ( a full grown adult btw) onto the altar??? Knocking Issac unconscious doesnt seem to be a very bright idea.. and keeping issac on the altar would be another major problem, him being 25 and all, issac could probably run away from being killed.

Thus i conclude from my new found info on issac, that he was a darn good martyr and son, or that he just so strongly believed he wouldnt die, he just willingly lay down in the presence of death, with the simple trust in God. i dont think abraham even needed to tie issac up.

oh so brave.. oh so charming.. oh so wise.

i sound so holy.
pfft i wish.

things of the past just intrigue me for some weird reason as much as me and history dont click.

-------

the static in winter is driving me and my hair crazy.

im getting electric shocks where ever i touch.

i feel like i have the power of electricity. once again, i wish.

If i did have that power, say goodbye to animal and child abusers and whoever i decide to electrocute. nah im not so evil. i think. then again u never know what power does to greedy, sinful, weak human souls now do we?

Static is in the air.

and im obviously under the influence of erm. caffeine. once again.

this is not good for my system honestly.

so long!

2008-01-29T03:47:00.000+08:00

Went for a nice Swiss Chesse Fondue with pretty Miss Switzerland over at her place. The swiss fondue has WINE. which i didnt get drunk on. go me!

We walked about greek town, and got ourselves some cheese and spinich pies.

Then went to her place to ogle at cute international dudes on the net. (heh heh )

:D

After a filling dinner. off we went to meet yiwen and friend to catch the oh so charming johnny depp in the film Sweeney Todd -demon barber of fleet street.

musical+tim burton+ johnny depp= really good movie. really horrid. but really good.
Thus the previous entry.

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"this is the last time that I'm ever gonna give in tonight

are there angels or devils crawling here?

I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see "

-dishwalla-

2008-01-28T12:39:00.001+08:00

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit

And it's filled with people who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it..."

2008-01-27T04:16:00.000+08:00

I wanna go to Stanford, Uni of Michigan, or Yale, Harvard maybe i'll think about it.

hahahhaa! omg.

try harder mel. try harder.

i think my GPA has to be 3.9 or 4.0 to get in.

i wanna go to grad school now and say hello to research papers and practicums at hospitals.

excited i am. and im only in second year.

i like to think a thad bit too much. :(

2008-01-25T14:27:00.000+08:00

"Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So, somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.. "

2008-01-23T16:19:00.001+08:00

im now living on caffine. :(

2008-01-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

Maroussia left us... :( but we'll go skating again soon! not at -12 degrees though. with wind chill was like -22 degrees. my ears almost fell off.

i learnt abit of sweet techniques, but me being such a whimp, i think alan's ears were bursting at my sudden yelps of terror when i thought i might hit the ground. haha.

all in all.. a good day. good day. :)

2008-01-18T06:39:00.000+08:00

Temporary shift to multiply for blogging.. check updates there.. reason being that i love the skin so much i wanna switch! HEH.

but.. once im bored. im shifting back.

http://marielleyap.multiply.com <--- CLICK.

2008-01-14T15:39:00.001+08:00

the typical thing to do every new year..

RESOLUTIONS.

pick up smoking.
learn to get drunk. and not vomit.
take drugs.
try and curse 50 times in a day.
over eat.
not study and fail.
tattoo my face.

IM KIDDING.

real resolutions 2008.

study hard, try to get all As then get a scholarship.
try my best not to loose my temper at mom. which is to love my mom more.
get my scuba diving cert.
climb mt bromo on a white horse.
Exercise once a week at least.
Get the job in the petshop.
bond with my cousins. *wink at bao jie*
Go to dubai and finally see my sis's abode, and of course see my sis.
have first offical jamming session with "finger bang" (this is the temporary name, once again i think it sounds porno dudes, dont u think? YISHENG REPLY MY EMAIL, and i realised from johnny its from south park. -_-) and keep it serious.
Volunteer in SPCA every morning to walk the dogs when im home during summer.
buy all torey hayden books.
Have an all dogs outing. dogs invited are stacy, well duh.. coco, ahpro, milo, horlick and the other coco, who else did i miss out? and other dogs. people that dont have dogs are welcomed! like joo, johnny, yisheng, huanxin and actually myself and boyfriend.
see boyfriend race in the iron man thingy and ogle at his half naked hunky sweaty body. (heh heh)

Somebody's gonna scold me..

moving on.
Things i secretly feel like doing, well, not so secret anymore, in which i may or may not attempt to accomplish.

Piercing my left cheek to get even with my dimples, then hide away for 4 months till the scar sets in.
strip club for women. hey ho.
play everyday at the sengkang playground (grace chris and huanxin, we all know which one im talking about! WEEE!)
Watch all episodes of friends (hint hint to CHRIS) and south park.
get another tatoo. i realise this is not so secretive, but then it doesnt really fit the category above because its not comfirmed, nor do i want to open a new category.

cheers to 2008!

2008-01-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

Pick out information that applies to you.. not all are to any particular person. so dont be senstive.

I think it was chris that said i was aunt agony. oh well.

many many MANY I SAY MANY people around me apparently aint doing well.. and ive heard it all.

Everyone has their own problems, everyone wants to be heard, everybody wants to be understood, everyone wants their voice heard, everyone is angry.

and nobody stops to think..

Everyone is misunderstood, everyone doesnt know how each one feels, everyone is hurt, everyone is scared, and everyone wants to be loved.

no one wants to be unhappy.

then why is everybody going all out to hurt each other. its just the weirdest shit ever.

Once the hurt is done, no amount of fighting, revenge or score settled will heal that bloody wound. The wound has to heal on its own.

see it this way, if a daughter is killed. murderer thrown in jail. would the mother feel any better? would the murderer being put in jail revive the daughter from the dead? the mom still has to heal on her own, the pain is still there.

Revenge done. then what happens next? you're just left on your own to hurt. its still the same outcome. nothing healed, nothing left. even your humanity is gone. revenge aint a pretty reflection.

and everybody says they love.... when no one understands anyone, no one is listening to anyone.

no one is RIGHT and no one is WRONG. everyone is the victim and everyone is the perpetrator, so why finger point?

im no angel at this, in fact, revenge is sooo my thing. but it doesnt work, hurting with words or threats doesnt work, it doesnt make things go my way, nor does it make me feel any better.

the only thing that works is when FINALLY AFTER 10 DAYS i stop thinking about myself and start thinking and imaginating about how the other person feels.

Take all the time in the world to heal, no one deserves pain. The heart will always heal if you let it.

If u refuse to want it to heal. then too bad.

....................

Love suffers long, and is kind... does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 corin 13:4-7)

No one said love was going to be easy, but no one said it was going to be impossible.

We all fail to realise that everyone else are human beings too. even i sometimes fail to realise that other people have feelings.

2008-01-10T11:22:00.000+08:00

Long christiany entry.. if not interested, dont read.

My whole purpose of wanting to leave singapore was 50% because of a vision i saw of myself in snow and the canadian flag some 3 years ago, and 50% was to RUN AWAY from things.

i must admit, im a good runner, from things i dont wanna face.. and it works fine with me.. i dont need to FACE MY PROBLEMS because they dont really haunt me anyways. call me a wuss, but at least im good at runnnig away.

And running away from everything, and flying half way across the globe, guess who accompanied me over? someone i never thought would do so.. GOD.

i should really start talking about God again. its been long since ive praised him and i'll praise him now.

i ran away, so to speak, from church because there were issues i didnt want and bother and dont see the need to debate about in my head. bottom line, i love God, if he doesnt love me back, its okay. as long as i love him. Then you christians might come and tell me, if i really love God, why would i leave church? if i SINCERELY LOVE HIM.. WHY??

answer is, i dunno.. hahaha.. pathetic right. i have my own belief system in me and my relationship with God can. He was my best friend since i was 5. so cut me some slack, heh. i really cant say my love for God is like INTENSE AND ALL EMOTIONAL. its more of lighthearted joking and talking about random stuff. if u know me, you'd probably guessed it was something like that anyway.

people say, we'd run to God when bad things happen. well.. im running to him now because I FEEL SO BLESSED TO THE POINT I DONT BELIEVE HE IS NOT WITH ME. because he is!! God doesnt like to leave me, and everyone else as well, even if u are as whimpy as me, God always sticks around hoping to find a way to lift you up!

God has overdone it this time. my heart feels so happy, its growing so big it would float away.

id never be able to do this without YOU! okay i give SOME credit to myself, but even im not believing what i see.

:)

2008-01-09T13:14:00.000+08:00

Okay.. i will not take credit for these photos.. photos are by yiwen.. apparently she takes really ARTSY TALENTED PHOTOS but REFUSES to go take up a degree in photography and rather take PHILOSOPHY because the TA is CUTE. tsk tsk. (okay i lied a tinsy bit)

I apologise for the extremely huge ass photos. i didnt adjust them well cos its not from my cam and im too lazy to DELETE and upload again. :) all the better to see the talented work of my dear friend..

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"Jehovah here of Nothing, all things makes,

And Man chief of all, his God forsakes.

Yet by th'Almighty Mercy twas decreed,

Heaven's Heir should satisfie for Man's misdeed."

-taken from Verbum Sempiternum-

Its so weird how words have meanings, and then those meanings get attached to bodies, and then dehumanises people, to mere nothingness other than the social conception of that word.

There's more to every person.

Everybody is someone.

2008-01-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

i love my new course!!!

its literature and the christian child.

and these are the books i have to read.

the water babies by charles kingsley.
The Princess and the Goblin by george macdonald
The lion the witch and the wardrobe by C.S lewis
A wrinkle in time by madeleine l'engle
Bridge to terabithia by katherine paterson
The fire eaters by david almond
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows by J.K rowling.

COOL OR WHAT!!

and then we'd go into the debates about the big issue about christians wanting to BAN HARRY POTTER and stuff like that.

and of course there's the medieval part to it, where there's the various versions of the bible, poems, and catechetical stuff... where kids had to read material like "you'll burn in hell and die if you steal or not listen to your parents" sort of "novels".

joo you'll love this course!!

oh im so happy!

2008-01-07T06:15:00.000+08:00

School starts tmr....

oh a happier note... i recieved this.

Thanks love. :)

i tearded.

i miss you!

2008-01-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

Tons of photos. more to come.

yiwen- dont kill me for the butt photo. haha! you have embarrassing photos of me as well. :)

i love running around in freezing whether and snow!

2007-12-30T15:16:00.000+08:00

the next time i update, id be back in toronto! home sweet home!! and hello house work. :(

by that time it would be the NEW YEAR!! :)

and then school starts :(

then school term ends :)

and then BACK TO MY REAL HOME SWEET HOME SINGAPORE!!! YEAHHHH! :D:D:D:D

..................

yiwen and i are having a ball of fun in kingston. our next aim is to make a snowman ... HOPEFULLY.

im too lazy to upload pics now.

...................

i hate trust. trust isnt a good thing.. cos it might disappoint you. anytime, anywhere. its difficult to trust. and people say trust is good..

well.. its good in a way.. but.. its tiring. its hurtful, its.... ....(i have no words to fill this space on how i feel, blame it on the limited vocabulary).

basic trust is okay, like i trust the food thats cooked by the restaurant chef wont be giving me stomach aches.. but trusting people.. its never certain..

its sad.

then the philosophy comes in about the very nature of trust is to be uncertain.. sheesh.

and the ironic thing is, its not as if im a very good person to trust in anyways. i might very well have disappointed tons of people that trust me. and here i am complaining on how difficult it is to trust others.

OH LIFE.

................

on a lighter note

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LIZ: happy birthday!! cos im not gonna have internet on your bday.. so in advance to you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

NING: HAPPY BELATED BDAY!! thanks for always thinking of me.. you touch my heart. i promise many many dog walks. :D

CHRIS: HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAHAHA! and thats the end of your post. nah im kidding.. hahah! you're not a door mat by always being around. you're like my gaurdian angel. :) in the morning i see you, in the night i see you, its like God sent. HAPPY NOT? SATISFIED?

2007-12-26T13:00:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS DINNER/PARTY WAS SO FUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

After a good turkey with cranberry dinner, we played SCATERGORIES. and i loved it!! i laughed till my lungs could pop! and my team won all the rounds!!! YAY!!

meet the beautiful and best people of KINGSTON, all in our party hats!!!!

This is our team leader!

and meet the two STANDARD POODLES.

As u guys can tell im really excited cos all my sentences are ending with exclamation marks...

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! and hello boxing day SALES!!!

TOODLES!!

2007-12-25T14:17:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL!!!

im into the seasonal colors :)
im getting fatter and fatter and christmas is getting merrier and merrier!

Bring on the cookies, cakes, and ham!!!

i miss everybody!!

joe- we may not be together on christmas but its okay! i love you and i know you love me too.. thanks for the call that woke me up in my sleep to wish me merry christmas, its the sweetest. you mean much to me, and i'll treasure your big big heart!

grace- wah your call.. heart melt. enjoy yourself in korea dear!! emjoy your self as much as u can and let loose! u deserve it my baby girl (although you're the one always lookin out for me)! push away the stresses and check out cute korean boys (david im kidding, i love u many many too)! have fun and think of meeeeeee and it will bring joy and relaxation to you!!!!!! AHAHA!

joo- AM I FORGIVEN JOO??? its really not my fault! i love you!! HOWDY HOO!! mr hanky should be visiting you!

2007-12-24T13:16:00.000+08:00

im in kingston.

im doing all the typical things to do during the christmas season.

i feel like im living a movie.

shopping in malls with glass windows, seeing the snow fall outside, with christmas songs playing in the background.

i went to church to listen to the choir sing, in parts, a combined choir with kids in it as well..

nothing beats children's voices echoing within the magestic cathedral's walls, its sooo MAGICAL! like im in heaven.

its sometimes amazing what people's voices combined in unison can do..

my uncle's pretty christmas tree is up...

its begining to feel alot like christmas! AND ITS WONDERFUL!

I went to visit ottawa as well!!

more pictures more pictures! but lazy to upload.

Nothing beats the birth of Jesus!!!

2007-12-18T15:32:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE EXAMS, STRESS, PIMPLES, and STUDYING. hello freedom christmas and new years!!!!!! YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

I AM FEELIN IT !

okay after my last paper which was like what 10 PM?! i went over to yiwen's to crash a while, and plan our kingston trip. heh... and then we decided to run around taking photos because there was a snow storm and thus, ALOT OF SNOW. :)

SIDE TRACK: i realised threading through snow takes alot out of me, because you keep slipping due to the slush, and ive got to constantly keep my balance while i was wobbling along, and it was -8 degrees and i was sweating in my coat because of all the effort.

Anyway, we wanted to dive into the snow, but, we cant even hold our camera's properly because of the cold, WHAT MORE DIVE IN. Yiwen's cam has better shots but it died on us, so here's half of whats good in our snow photos.

and so our fun begins tmr.

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my house is in a mess due to studying. i sooo need to clean everything, from bathtub to oven. on a happier note, i changed my bedsheets to a pretty blue and pink. kudos to mom for the delivery of love all the way from sunny singapore!! it had milo and ribena packed as well!!!!

after which i had a backache from changing the sheets. weak i know. i cant even change sheets.

..........

High on freedom...

"But as long as you love me so...
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!"

2007-12-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

My love's package arrived!!! yay! a study boost for me..

i have a cute leopard soft toy, ALOT OF HAWTHORN and SEAWEED :), my mouse, a cookbook and a card. oh the love!! well.. the square hawthorns kinda escaped from their packaging.. sooo and thus they are on tissue paper in the photo.

i'll bet i'll finish all of them within 3 days. :( GLUTTON I AM.

THANKS DEAREST!!! id study even harder! I PRAY.

And in canada, you're not really inclined to have pimples. i mean.. its so dry here, you cant really have an oily face/skin. but this is what stress does to you (unless i havent bathed in two months. WHICH, NO NO, NOOO.. i BATHE OKAY, EVERYDAY.. heh. this bracket thing is really pointless). TWO BIG ASS pimples. one on my back. and one on my chin.

This shot not bad. i think i got photographic talent. maybe i should take up photography and be liz's apprentice.... okay . who am i kidding.

THE LUMPS!! OH THE HORROR!!! in such dry whether.

SIGH. one more paper, 3 days to go. 6 days to kingston, 11 days till CHRISTMAS!!! YAY!!!

"Jack frost's niping at your nose... "

2007-12-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

STRESSED OUT OF MY GUTS. SO TAKE PHOTO. NOT GOOD.

Studying is fun. But not when its going to be freaking graded. EYE BAG, EYE RING, CROWS FEET I ALL HAVE NOW.

i lost the gold ring my mom gave me because the weather freezes your fingers up so that their stiff, and rings just slide of your fingers unknowingly cos why? FINGERS FROZEN NUMB LIKE F*** SO CANNOT FEEL. :( mom's gonna freak big time. i loved that ring. sentimental value lehhhhh...

So what to do when you're feeling down and low, lower than the ground, and you think that you dont have a chance? ( Quote panda bear song from the pacifier)

Try to smile and hope it maps onto your emotions.

I need a thad bit of sunshine and serotonin in my life.

2007-12-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

Summer had this china singing competiton thingy.. so we went to support her.. and OMG her voice like celine dion. in all honesty i thought she should have won first prize, instead of some charming guy that can sing singapore ah pek pot belly karaoke pub songs. But that guy was good too.. Soo... no coincidence everyone around us two singaporeans are students from china.

Anyway, after my volunteer with children thingy i met yiwen and suddenly some killer SNOW STORM just casually blew in. the change is whether is like.. blinking.

Fangshuian- eh i saw the whether report on hamilton, then i got a shock because of some storm.. plus u had tubes in and out and all over you.. how you handle ah?

The snow storm is soooooo pretty! like the snow would be twirling and dancing,swishing around with the wind! i just dont like when snow comes flying right into your eyes. irritates the guts out of me. yiwen and me like fighting war while trying to get to the auditorium.

This is summer.

Good day good day. i like brief snow storms, SO BEAUTIFUL, and they dont freeze the ground.

So much for trying to stay home and finish my essay. good job mel.

Now my life starts at 8am and ends at 5am. i like the fact that im fully utilising my hours, i hate the waking up part.

Living on mars.... bars.

2007-11-30T10:52:00.000+08:00

Straighten? Straighten not?

I like school life in UofT.. because they give you so many things to do in so little time, and u dread deadlines which means that time passes more quickly because deadlines are scary and ta da .. term is over. THAT FAST.

Its so much faster in comparison with monash where i slack around and just doodle time away and studying only comes in about one week before exams.

Exams are coming up, which = no social life, but its okay, im suppose to be in love with my books above everything else now. Ever since i entered uni, i know how it feels to really take studies seriously, and i realised, Nerds are really i think, the most stressed out "student" beings in the entire planet.

i was talking to huanxin about it, its the whole maintaining your grades or GPA thing.. like if you're not nerdy, you've got no grades to maintain, so no stress, but nerds, woah the stress of seeing a grade drop is enormous. Luckily im not a full blown all out nerd or id be stressed out of my brains. but then again they might be so intellectually superior they dont even need to worry about grades... hmmmm....

anyway, yisheng, alex and johnny.. hello new band.. johnny in case u didnt know, u are automatically recruited, without consent.. honored a not? HAAHAH! im excited..

My present random aim is to work in the pet shop near my place where its in a dominant gay community. maybe my new best friend would be a gay dog lover. i like. :)

2007-11-27T06:49:00.000+08:00

Chopsticks in my hair asianess- I like

Random points.

I realised maybe id be better off bald. after needing to clean the house with all my hair around.. having no hair seems pleasant.. BUT OF COURSE NOT.

Now i know why my mom or my aunties put newspaper or hand towels around the stove when they are frying stuff.. the oil splatters EVERYWHERE. and cleaning up the oil on the stove aint pretty.

I know how to do stunts on ice. hahahah! stunts my ass.. i know CROSS CUTS, no biggy. heh.. im proud of myself. ICE SKATING MY NEW HOBBY. TALENT. whatever.

I know the secret to be a person with more INSIGHT. Be a maverick, which will help link immpossible ideas together, bringing path lengths nearer, thus making your brain more flexible, in linking all sorts of points, which will lead to INSIGHT. ahhhh.. revelation... so go do the unexpected, let loose and step out and explore your cognition!! (assignment blues this is)

Now to Tv shows. (i should be really getting my head into assignments, but, the tv is just beside me)

Everybody, you people should watch QUILLS. At first i thought QUILLS was the korean sad dog golden retriever puppy baby show, so when i saw on the channel guide "quills", from the kitchen i BOUNDED toward to the living room (not a far distance btw)at lightning speed to turn to the channel, to realise its an english show with kate winslet, joaquin pheonix, and geoffrey rush. ALL GOOD ACTORS!

Quills is a super morbid, grotesquely sexual, deep literary show. VERY VERY SEXUAL, not porn stupid senseless sexual kinds, its dark, sick, twisted indepth type of sexual 18th century show about a mental asylum, literature and wit. way cool but sick. its a show singapore will never ever show. never ever because every sentence is tainted with, well either sick or sexual intelligent phrases. so try finding it online. haha! keep in mind the actors, its a good show.

And and Joaquin Pheonix has this deep but blank empty stare.. especially when he furrows his brows.. how do u do a deep intense but blank stare! i dunno! but its so alluring! awww. He has the face of old english royalty...

moving on..

i like the comedy Family Guy.. this one is morbidly funny. hahaha! too honest for their own good. just like south park. and both shows got Jesus walking around.

I was wondering in FRIENDS, why, knowing that phoebe was never a good secret keeper, but always when there's secrets, phoebe is always the first one to know, and through her, everybody else will know. Its either her or joey thats the first one to know. pointless ..but i like FRIENDS many many.

I conclude, never watch Cold Case, then transit straight away to Scrubs.. one moment you're sobbing away from the touching last scene of a murder case, the next u cant help but laugh because of J.D and choke on tears thats still flowing because of cold case.

.........

I finally helped out at a school for their after school programme... so this was when we were on our way there.. snow.. heh.

Back to the point, omg. i took the eight year olds, and they were flashing, swinging, waving SWISS ARMY KNIVES around in each other's faces, talking about racism, and sexual harrasement (those were the exact words used from their mouths).

I dont know if its that i hung around teaching 4 year olds for way too long to know how fast kids are learning, or, its just the eight year olds im looking after. anyways, there were those that are EXTREMELY SWEET!! albeit all the running and throwing chairs around (im not kidding), throwing food on the floor, attempting to stab each other, and me being stupefied TO THE MAX.. i fell in love with them..

i cant help it.. throw me a kid and id marry you.. I AM WEAK.

2007-11-23T10:49:00.000+08:00

My moment of snow bliss.. lasted only but for a while. :(

Coming back from school at night, it felt like my fingers could be plucked off like icicles.

I remember waking up jumping to my window sill and being amazed and happy looking at the snow flakes floating down on the soft white snow laden ground. When i walked past a park, the sheets of snow covering the grass and ground. IT WAS SO PRETTY!!!

Well, though its awesomely beautiful. ITS COLD, painful painful cold. I WANT SG'S HOT SIZZLING TANTALIZING SUN. NOW!

and i miss my guitar. :( i went to church for Richard's baptism, and i felt like jumping up and snatching the guitarist's guitar from him and start playing "my redeemer lives" .. hahaha!

sigh. home sweet home.

2007-11-23T04:12:00.000+08:00

ITS SNOWING!!!
Toronto's first snow storm of the year. and what do u do? run out and take photos!!!

Its catherine's first time seeing snow too!!

After threading around in slush... eh..... snows' just ALRIGHT.

And did u know.. u can actually see the snowflakes! like i mean the shape and all!! without a microscope!!! This is what happens when you've seen snow the first time in your life. i feel dumb.

2007-11-19T07:24:00.000+08:00

This was who i went to welcome into the world at kitchener! Meet baby Richard Xavier!!

This is the baby of the month photo. hello handsome!! Aint you a heart breaker!

Baptism..

Uncle Lau!

Alexander and Nathan..
Steph and Richard..
Family...

Caught in action of wasting paper by playing, "tear paper out of book and aim at rubbish bin" game..

Me and the older kids.

UNO GAME! I WIN!

We were trying to exhale mist... but the shot didnt quite get it. oh well..

AND SNOW!!!!! if u can see it..

PUPPY!!! meet the OTHER new born... SUMO.

And more snow!!!

durian!!! ive long been deprived of it.. heh heh. canadian durians are GOOD.

Good weekend!!!

Im too lazy to change the font, too lazy to type anymore stuff..

love ya'll !

2007-11-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

I got those scented candles alright.. and im lovin them!! They look Christmassy!! i love christmas!! and few photo frames and potpourri!

The time of trenchcoats and boots has arrived, and im just waiting earnestly for the first fall of snow... There's been a few close cases of snow reported on the weather news, but its always ALMOST. NO MORE ALMOST! SNOW NOW!

And the weather is so cool you'd NEVER feel lethargic when you head out of home, no matter how many hours of sleep you get, its always easy and breazy outside! i like it when i breathe, then there's the whole condensation mist effect coming out of my mouth. i forgot the term for it, but i like!! i like breathing out mist.. it makes me feel, cool. its pointless i know.

Im done with my AIDS discourse assignment, and i should get down to my test on impassibility of God, isnt it obvious God's not impassible?!!? but, im just an amateur in philosophical gobbledygook and not so sophisticated in mind to think about the deeper stuff. i just know, read the bible and hope for a revelation, not much philisophical debating going on in my head there.

Talking about the bible, you guys should go on wikipedia and read about sodom and gomorrah. The people are just to be abhorred on the highest possible level of abhorring! Honestly i dont even know why abraham wanted to save those towns, his compassion runs deep, real deep. well, not that im evil, but, read for yourselves, their morals are fliped the other way round, think about it.

And the worse part, homosexuals are called sodomites. HOMOSEXUALS ARE NOT THAT EVIL! they shouldnt even my termed that way, as much as i know that term came out from sodomy, which still is rooted back to sodom.

Ah, i want a gay best friend. period. I just watched "my best friend's wedding", and julia robert's gay good guy friend is just SO SWEET.

These pictures have meaning.

This is the photo of me talking to joe after a BIG quarrel which made him REFUSE to call me back. no prize for guessing who blew it out of proportion. (ps. not me, no. definately not me..)

This picture.. the lime light is on my dark eye rings. ive slept for only 4 hours per day for the past one week. and this is what ive gotten out of it.

AND MY CHEEKS. FAT FAT FAT. i want CHISELED, chiseled look you hear?! SLIM DOWN MEL and stop snacking on indian tidbits! The cold weather is making my mouth chew non stop. Oh and did i mention, i chewed on gum till my jaws went sore for 4 whole days. im abstaining from gum currently.

This is proof of my hard work. honestly no. this is proof im taking photos while studying. but knowing i cant multitask, it boils to me just taking photos. not studying.

Stacy! (in the photo frame) as you guys can see.. she is placed before me everyday.. dont worry, photos of you guys are coming up soon!! after i buy proper photo paper which might be forever because of exam period.

And this is.. just nothing much. This would be the random emo photo of the lot. i remember how liz was desperately trying to take an emo pic for me but i simply CANT PULL OFF EMO. why would i like emo right? no no, i like variety, not that i like being emo. im crapping through my mouth. not good sign. this is what happens when your brain cells get burnt.

and yes jas.. i miss jasmine's home cooked mee hooooon!!!!

i also want hawthorn balls. :( and seaweed. :(

2007-11-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

Its 3 am and im still awake trying to finish an essay on AIDS and homosexuals.

Within the time i came to Toronto, i watched lesbian "porn" and a children's cartoon "porn" on where babies come from. and it was horrid. In my classes mind you.. i didnt go round borrowing twisted porn.

I learned the art of enjoying house work is to have a really good vaccum cleaner. so guys, on my wedding day, i totally dont mind an awesome vaccum cleaner. I always dont understand why some women feel so happy on the ellen degeneres when they recieve good house hold appliances.. NOW I KNOW.

I went down with Catherine to the KK club to see the children and have a tour around the school. its really nice, real sweet, i cant wait to start helping out.

Im having a baby shower next week end in Kitchener! i have a new baby cousin! and i'll be meeting God knows how many other relatives i havent met from the states.

I have an aunt that lives in virginia on a few farms that she rented out to farmers!! According to uncle johnny, i might be spending christmas on a farm!! how cool!!! yay! and i get to play with the horses!!

Back to reality..
I have a sexual diversity essay to hand in on tues (which is tmr).
a philosophy of religion test on friday.
a gender studies critique the following wed
a cognitive science essay the following tue
and a gender studies exam the following wed
and my final exams the subsequent weeks that follow.

Talk about being drowned in schoolwork.
:(

2007-11-10T13:29:00.000+08:00

I WANT.

i want siglap's yong tau foo
i want far east chicken rice
i want my mom's drunken prawns
i want liz's olive fried rice
i want upper serangoon hokkien mee and nasi lemak
i want joe's mom's vinegar rice
i want bedok bah chor mee
i want serangoon gardens sting ray
i want athar
i want ang moh kio crabs
i want laksa anywhere
i want captiol centre's korean hot pot
i want wanyi's mom's wan ton mee

When it comes to food, what mel wants, mel gets. but not this time. no no. this time im put to the test of ultimate patience and dire hunger cravings for sg food. :(:(

i want "my littlest pet" plushie so that i can have their virtual pet online.

i honestly should get a life rather than wanting an online virtual pet. Neopets doesnt fit the bill of interactive.

big sigh.

Its cold, its 2 degrees, the sun sets earlier meaning longer darkness, its the peak month of craziness for school. i like the adrenaline rush, i dont like not having sg food around.

good bye.

2007-11-03T10:06:00.000+08:00

The limitations of imagination..

When we think we've escaped the unbearable ordinariness and, well, untruthfulness of our lives, its really the same old ordinariness and falseness rearranged into the appearance of novelty and truth. Nothing unkown is knowable.

-Angels inAmerica-

i act emo only.

Ive got a new plan.

After my honors, i'll go back to sg (because i finally miss home), and hopefully if i score well, i'll skip masters, i'll work in KK and at the same time do my PHD at NUS (and get married after one year) which will take about 5 years, and then try and get as many connections on the way, and in about 8 to 10 years, i might be able to start my new school and name it "School for Mentally Disturbed Children- NOT", and transfer the children that have emotional issues in the mental institute to my school and show them da LOVE! How rockin hot is that!! wooo!

Anyways, someone slap me if i deviate from it. thank you many many.

--------------

You dont get angry at me when i forget but i get angry at you when you forget stuff, you give me morning calls all the way from sg, you tell me everyday what you're doing while i leave u in the dark about my daily activities, and you still call me faithfully and lovingly just to hear my voice and to know that im okay.

I didnt tell you my timetable, u notice my schedule and note it down on your own on your desktop, you look after our neopet with such love and train it and buy it books to read (as much as its dumb that i still want to play neopets) , you're really looking after jose_marie real well... u decided you'd keep a dog next time just because i like dogs but you're afraid of them. You never scold me and tell me how to love, you show me how to with your own actions.

When i get pissed off or irritated irrationally, you calm me down, instead of getting pissed off with me, u help me figure my things out.. in fact you NEVER get angry with me unless im horridly horridly i mean reallly out of this world unreasonable. You wake up early in the morning just to catch me online, and i cant even wake up early to do the same and u dont expect anything out of me except that i love you.

i cannot believe someone this sweet just fell on my lap one fine lovely day, or that im even worthy of someone like you.. it feels like some love comedy.

I thought when i came here, we'd have so many quarrels, but instead, you were evermore so supportive and constant in your love, and its so much love even if i build a dam to stop it, it would overflow. when u cant get me you'd email me to tell me about your day, im surprised how well everything is working out and i acknowledge that you're the one putting in most of the effort.. i think you're some angel's kid (which means uncle charlie and Auntie Doreen are angels) ahahahahaha!

I love you, i love your whole family, i love your fishes in the fish tank, i love both your gentle grandparents, i love your cute cousins, i just love everything about you.

(well, if u cheat on me all these i take back) hahaa.

hugs and kisses. you're definately God sent. :)

-------------------

i want soft toy. NOW.

Ive been wanting to ask God this question, "why did He give us armpit hair?" honestly, of all places, why the sweaty armpit?.. adorned with more hair than our arms?

But i know God will never answer my prayer.. instead, he'd go <.>_<'> (joo-rolls eyes). sigh.

2007-10-29T10:25:00.000+08:00

My DADDDDDYYYY started out his email to me by typing,

Hi beautiful...

AWWWWWWW.. honestly im not used to my dad being all mushy and lovey dovey.. but im really lovin it! it just makes my heart tingle with joy. tee hee..

-------------------

I was talking to my uncle today, and i realised i have three routes to choose before hopefully ending up (with enough money) in india opening "my"/an orphanage (ahhh i wish)..

1. Child psychologist in hospital (not private practise, it scares me)
2. Child Custody Person (figure out which child should go with which parent in court cases)
3. Go back and do something about Sg's policies on institutionalizing "mental" people/children, who might not be mental at all but may have undergone abuse thus change in behavior.

but before all these.. i need good grades. pfffft.

Come on people, POLL, should i choose 1, 2 or 3??? i really dont know what i want now. :(

Studying here i come.

--------------------

I wanna decorate my place.. its tooo.. er, not flowery or happy.. i need more color and patterns.. i need a home decorator person. i suck at decorating.

i wanna buy scented candles. heh.

this is really random.

-

2007-10-27T08:59:00.000+08:00

HALLOWEEN club night ... and the drunkards.

Samantha and peter!

Coyboys and cops.

Claire and susan!

Susan...

Deniz!

Hailey!

TROJAN!!! Beduor!

Britney spears! April!

Steph, fifi, Catherine!

Summer and Yiwen!
Yo Ho pirate! Natasha!

SPARTA!!!!!!! josh fudge.

Michelle!

Spiderella , patty!

Alison cat girl!

Marilyn Monroe Fifi!!

Stephanie.. minnie mouse!

"I find it hard to tell you'

Cos I find it hard to take

When people run in circles

It's a very, very

Mad World "

-Tears for Fears-

2007-10-24T10:56:00.000+08:00

Movie outing after midterms.

From left to right.. Catherine, marousia, me, michelle, aimee, var, patricia, hernando.

The story of my desperate attempt to want a furry companion.

I wanted to foster a dog called jackie..

Then me susan and fifi wanted to be mothers to a ferret. After reading online on the needs of a ferret, we decided we cant afford to ferret proof our places.. so .. we dropped the idea.

So i wanted to foster jackie again. and i called my landlady, to find out that... she said "no no, no pet (in a russian accent)." hahahaha! so.

no pet. :(

2007-10-16T04:11:00.000+08:00

1, 2, 3, 4

Tell me that you love me more

i heard some sad, disappointing, brokemyheart news, to the point i find i feel helpless that im 10 million miles away and cant do crap.. so i hope this will, somehow, help.

If u were to stand in front of the mirror and to ask yourself.. who is this person, is this person the true me? is what im doing now in my life reflecting the true essence of what makes me me? would u be able to answer? some of us probably might not even recognise the image that stares blankly back at us (metaphorically please, you would be a dumb ass to not know its YOU physically) and wonder why the heck we are doing the things we do now. Sadly, not much of us even know who we actually are, no direction, no nothing.

We do things blindly most of the time, not even bothering if our actions may affect ourselves or worse, effect other loved ones, dead or alive, u affect them all.

oh youth, recklessness.. im like that... but oh grow up.

Some of us give up who we really are, compromising and thinking we're never enough, so we take up other things to make up for our lost selves, like...perhaps being what others want us to be, instead of being all that you are. Or in another case doing things other people are doing, in hope to find another "self" to be, other than your own. Hiding behind alcohol or drugs, hoping to land up in a whole new world where the new YOU will be accepted, high and happy.. and ultimately know its going to come crashing down on you. So why take this route of infinite regress, where one downfall will lead to another.

I hope u get my message. Take pride in who you are, we're all not perfect, but we can understand our weaknesses to be stronger, not use our weaknesses as an excuse to do more retarded stuff to wreck your own life.

Then again who am i to judge... people go through the most sadistic things in life.. for every crime, there's a sad reason. I have no say in people's choices, but it doesnt give you a reason to not stand up on your two feet and live life being who you are, not someone else.

2007-10-14T04:42:00.000+08:00

LIZ, BALD.. HOW ABOUT THIS INSTEAD OF THE PEACOCK FEATHER?!?! can a not can a not?? is it nicer?

Well.. there are a few conditions.. if i have money when i get back home and if joe is okay with it.. ahahaha..

2007-10-14T03:08:00.000+08:00

After our philosophy test which cost me one nights sleep.. this is what happens..

Go over to Sim Yi Wen's place.. get a hair cut by your friend (after doing a poll on should or should i not cut my fringe).. then sit and watch disney songs on you tube for the rest of the afternoon... and still not get some sleep....

Sooo.. im back to being EDGY.. or so i like to think. this time i just didnt straighten my hair and color it black.. AGAIN.

Does anyone know how to wash bras?

i have really spoilt hair.

2007-10-13T10:38:00.000+08:00

Kingston! Let the photos do the talking ... im too lazy to put the photos in chronological order as well..

KJ-This is how the dining halls look like..

THE END

2007-10-12T03:01:00.000+08:00

Time, dont let it slip away

Raise your drinking glass

Here's to yesterday

In time, we'll all gonna trip away

Dont piss heaven off

We got hell to pay

Come full cirlce

-Aerosmith full circle-

Went to kingston for thanksgiving!

Pictures will be up soon.. after my infinite number of testsssss....

Im in love with Aerosmith.

and joe.

2007-10-01T03:03:00.000+08:00

HEY GUYS (liz and grace dont kill me for this)... feast your eyes on one of God's wonderful creations and creatures.. Its characteristics is that it emerges from your bathtub or sink's drainage system and resides in the moist underground, they love water, and they can grow to the size of your thumb (i killed one that size... afterwhich i felt really guilty for because they are harmless).

They are totally clean and totally harmless.. their only flaw... that usually gets them killed, even by timid girls like me that freak out at the sight of insects... is that they look like this....

For a closer look.

Cool aye... u can even see its cute beady eyes..

Anyway, i have come to peaceful terms with these peaceful creatures because they tend to respect my privacy and not climb into my clothes because its too dry for them.. and they are ultra sensitive to movement, so they wont get in my way...

Thanks to their MANY MANY LONG LONG LEGS (as u can see), it helps them run away from me at the speed of light, so i dont have to worry about accidentally squishing one of them...

Me and them have come together in harmony, and see.. i actually dare to take a close up picture of it without fearing it or killing... this is an example of how Independence forces the bravery out of a whimp like me.

I am contemplating keeping one as a pet, if i see one that is the size of my palm. it would be a freaking cool pet. and i'll use it to scare the hell out of people if they try to break into my apartment. HAHAHAA. but.. i dunno what it eats. dang. probably moss or other insects.. which.... i dont have...

Its funny how creatures as scary evil looking as this can be so harmless and gentle, but beautiful creatures like the human race can be so perversed... Never judge the ugly, weird or odd for evil and the beautiful for goodness... just because u dont understandstand something doesnt mean its BAD, it just means u need to use your brain and seek out the truth.

Back to studying.

2007-09-29T10:44:00.000+08:00

Who am i kidding.. studying???

Hello pub night at Molly's....

Alright, i am studying, and studying everyday on a CONSTANT basis (something which never happens in the past)... just not for that particular night.. heh.. my excuse was that i was cornered into going. yes i was..

Happy news... FALL IS OFFICIALLY HERE!!! YAY!!! The tress are turning color and the whether is turning cooler!!!

Pretty pretty sight..

Following fall is naturally winter... so when there's winter, there's ICE SKATING!!

Meet my new hockey skates.... I got them skates with my lovely brilliant psychologist uncle who happens to be a FIGURE SKATING COACH.. UH HUH NO KIDDING I LOVE MY UNCLE JOHNNNNNNYYYYYY!!!! we are like soul uncle and niece... we go for the same things! he loves kids toooooo!

Well since i couldnt fulfill my dream of getting hockey rollerblades... i replaced the dream with hockey skates!!

Joo! u have the honour of naming my skates since u have that innate ability and fetish to name non living things...

My current activity would be ice skating.. hahaha.. i signed up for ice skating lessons to KNOW HOW TO FREAKING BRAKE, instead of relying on the rim of the rink to crash into... and i wanna brake by slicing the ice! WOO!

My aim would be to be a good enough skater by winter, so that i can skate on the frozen ponds in toronto!!! With the snow falling from the sky and small kids on skates all around meeee!! yay yay yay!!!

----------------------

Anyways, i met my uncle today for dinner.. and he was telling me about the Sick Kids Hospital which i can do volunteer work in.. and its everything that i dreamt of!!

Its like working with kids that are ill, either with cancer, or those about to go into surgery.. and my job would be to stimulate them in the dull environment of the hospital, by playing with them and encouraging them and bringing them JOY to go on another day!!! OH IM SO HAPPY!

I would wanna take up the challenge, even if it means that i would come home everyday crying because of a kid, and asking God why do such things happen to small children.. i would still wanna try, and strengthen myself and hope to make a difference in some family's life.

So yeah.. everything is falling into place...

Amen. i really cannot thank God enough. im on my knees with gratefulness.

2007-09-20T09:01:00.000+08:00

Question of the day is.... IS THIS STEVEN SPIELBERG?!?!!?

Well.. apparently when with my friends in aldo (once again).. the shop people were telling us we would get locked in if we dont hurry as they are filming THE HULK 2 outside their shop. So thinking every block buster must be from Mr Spielberg, i saw this man and asked, is that steven spielberg?!!? everyone of course was excited and started taking photos..

When i got back home... i checked online for the director and BEHOLD!!! i dont think he is Steven Spielberg. hahahaa! so everyone ended up taking a photo of some random guy fixing something for the movie..

So anyways.. i think canada has the best korean bbq.. of course i have never tried the ones in korea.. but this is good.

This section is for you grace.... u want more photos of my school... now u got photos of my school. hahaha! touched a not?

From this day forth!! i will not be able to blog as often..... sigh... because of my enthusiasm for school and homework, with the wish of achieving first class honors and a scholarship to lift the burden of my dad, i would officially be constantly studying and keeping up with what ever needs to be done.. yes...
---------

And i owe this to my twin..

twin- As much as we dont seee each other very often in comparison with last time where we see each other's face almost every single day, i know that we have something good and special to hold on to. The stupid things we did around sengkang and maybe on the church bus always makes me laugh and think how can two people be that retarded, but what the hell, we had good memories. And alex, you really know how to give meaning to the words "free spirit", and sometimes when im with you in public, as much as you can get a tad bit loud, but u dont care, and it shows how much you just give yourself to fun and enjoyment. i somehow see it fading away, so please dont ever let that part of you go okay?

2007-09-10T11:37:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life, my dad got upset because i didnt contact him in a week and that i didnt tell him how was my orientation and how i was doing.... ONE WEEK. Usually we dont even talk for weeks unless he is in town.

For the first time in my life, i felt he really wanted to know his daughter.

For the first time in my life, i feel like my dad walked right back into my life.

I made a prayer when i was a kid.. that my dad would come back. And even though God answered the prayer like 15 years later... God still answered it.

I called him after i got his email, and we chatted, and i felt like i had a father and a friend.. He was LAUGHING on the phone and all and i was rambling on and on about things that happened... it felt nice.

My dad never laughs when we talk in the past.. but he did today. In the past we just sat and talked about school and financial stuffs and thats about it. Today we talked about deeper stuff, and though it was short, i love it to the core.

and then he said "remember to write to me once in a while..".

My aunt was telling me about how my dad would light up everytime he saw us when we were kids.. his face would glow and he would show us off.

I realised just recently that there were photos of my sister and i on his work desk and proudly telling people about us.

In the past my dad's heart would melt everytime i mention something about our family and he would do something sweet for me in his own way, just to heal the wound...

I never knew or notice these things.. i always thought my dad was just fulfilling responsibility when he met up with us..
Well he wasnt.. i guess he really loved us in his own secret mysterious daddy manly way.

I never thought such a day would come, where my dad would wanna know whats going on in my life, for a week even.. and one fine day the miracle just casually strolled in.

So, never give up on a prayer because God has really good memory and he never forgets.. no matter how long it takes...no matter how painfully long the wait is. The longer the wait.. the better the miracle...

This would be the best thing that ever happened in my ENTIRE life.

This is the begining of a something wonderful. I cant wait to call him again..
i love my dad so so so much.

2007-09-09T08:25:00.000+08:00

A week's of orientation is over and finally im home!!!

I stayed in school's residence for like a whole week, and culture shock hello. Call me dumb dumb but the bathrooms are co-ed. Like boys walking into toilets with girls wrapped in towels kind of co-ed...and we had condomSSSSSSS in our frosh kits.

uh huh..

anyhoos... hello UNIVERSITY COLLEGE FALCONER HOUSE!!!

Thanks to Susan i had a place to stay..

Orientation was really fun but extremely tiring.. i felt like they were training us for some kind of war.. we ran like around almost the WHOLE CITY. okay.. heh maybe only like the major parts but still..

We blocked traffic, sat on busy road intersections blocking cars from getting to work, holding signs like "Honk if you're horny", "im sure your boss will believe you" ... running into shopping malls shouting absurd cheers like " UC UC what do you say, lets have an orgi hey hey hey."

So yeah... my college is.. er.. in touch with their sexuality. Its really much much worse.

Oh wells, classes are starting and i cant wait.. I cant wait to start learning again and like reading my textbooks!! but when exams come... then, its a different story..

I need my dose of Torey Hayden.. so if u guys wanna send me a gift.. let it be one of Torey Hayden's books from kino.. its cheap and good. yay! thats because apparently they dont have Torey Hayden here... sigh.. the sadness of it all..

okay goodbye!

2007-09-07T11:10:00.000+08:00

Short update..

Im bummed out by orientation.. and need some rest..

But alls fun and whoa no kidding it took the energy out of everybody, omg.

Back to school!!!

2007-09-01T05:58:00.000+08:00

Well, its the first day since i landed that i finally got the whole day to myself at home... so i decided to be a good grown up girl.

I ran around doing my banking and stuffs, got some home necessities, did HOUSEWORK (im proud of myself) and finally take a breather, sit back and eat tortilas. heh.

And take photos.

i love my place as you guys can tell..

Some more photos, and this is in Unionville!! these small villages are so pretty! They are on the outskirts of toronto. Toronto is far from flowers and trees and pretty cottages.

I LOVE THEM ALL!!! FAMILY!!!

And this is my friend whom ive met during our health check in sg and been each other's company for the past few days.. and no prize for guessing what we've been doing...

SHOPPING of course. heh.

Anyhoos, something exciting happened today..

While i was in some dollar store getting stuff, some guy was chasing another guy, and they started fighting.. and mind you they were like an arms length away from me and i almost got knocked down when they were running about... so it was full of action and the good guy pinned the bad guy on the floor and was yelling CALL THE COPS!! CALL THE COPS!!!And the other one who was getting strangled kept saying I CAN PAY FOR IT!

Finally, the thief got away by taking off his shirt... and the cops never came. or rather i didnt stay on the see if the cops came. And through out, my heart was in my mouth, because they were so near me and i prayed so hard nothing will come flying in my direction..so thank God for his protection...

it was exciting though..

oh well.

I keep wanting to say this, i love my dad!! i love my uncle johnny!! and i love my aunt jen!!! and i love my other family members here because they make me feel so at home!!! YAY!! i can never be luckier..

i seriously Thank God for my dad. well, my dad attempted to try to bond with me, it was hilariously weird, but it was sweet. He's soft on the inside and REAL STERN on the outside, but whatever it is, his heart will melt for his children!

tee hee.

2007-08-29T09:57:00.000+08:00

HEYA!! PHOTOS ARE UP!!!

AND WARNING.. its a long long entry.

At the airport...

Touch down...

My place... is er... a little messy... heh...

Then its my old and pretty and cool university!!!

Then we headed on the Kitchener... to meet my distant cousins and granduncle!! And their three lovely bulldogs!!! Hey ho Niagara....

Then on to St Jacobs...

Then to the Vineyards...

Everything's all settled now and dad's gone back to indo.. and Toronto is the greatest place to be!!!

Anyways, everything was in a rush.. and ive got alot of things to say to most of you people which i didnt have the time to.. so ive decided to do it here..

Grace-You're a tresure to me, as much as we get angry with each other at times, you're always the one putting me first and looking out for me. Definately i know with you, im going to have a friend for life, to back me up, protect and look out for me. You're someone i know thats going to stand by me even if i screw up big time, someone selfless, someone to trust. Sometimes you're too honest for your own good... hahaa! but thats what keeps you pure.. and thats what makes you beuatiful.. Thanks for loving me the way you do.

Liz- To me, you're the kindess person ever, with the purest of heart, and when u love, you REALLY put your whole heart into loving someone.. so im lucky im getting the love. You've grown so much stronger and i can never be prouder to have you as my best friend. You've taught me forgiveness and having a big big heart for people who mistakes. and truly, many have let you down, and you still came out strong and loving.. so liz, God's going to love and treasure you for that, and i do too!!

Yisheng- Thanks for your sms at the airport, it was the sweetest thing.. you've always been a good friend to talk to and confide in.. albeit your cool demeanour on the outside, you've got the best heart on the inside and wisdom far beyond your age... so i believe you're going to do great in life, go for what you want in politics or mass comm.. which ever i know you're sure to succeed. :)

Jas- You're someone i wanna grow up to be like.. happy aye? Im touched by your strength, im touched by your love, im touched by your selflessness, im touched by your ability to look after 10 million people even when you're weak. Life's never been fair to you, but you always take on life with hope and a wide pretty smile. I wanna grow up to be like you. And you know what, i'll bet you'd grow up to be a darn good kick ass beautiful mother with beautiful kids and have a great life ahead. God wont shortchange, and i'll definately still wanna be part of your life in the next 100 gazillion years to come.

Joo- Hey love, you may not know this, but eveytime you call, you make a difference in my life. You make me feel that im needed and you make me feel that im here for a purpose. As much as you confide in me, you're encouraging me as well.. I love the way we can talk about anything under sun, be it serious or not, we always laugh about it. And thats the beautiful thing about you, because no matter what, the laughter brings back hope into whatever troubles we face, and your senseless ideas of doing stupid stuff makes everything bright and beautiful again. You're a hope giver, and i'll bet the people you've touched on your mission trips know that.

Chris- You're the friend that stands at the sidelines watching and noticing.. but would always swoop in to come help me when im in trouble. You're the friend that i know would always be there by my side, silent but always present no matter what.. and i love that about you.. i love the way u are able to always miraculously appear by my side when im in need which always puts a smile on my face. i love the long walks, i love the chats, i love the way you'd always try to be happy so that you'd cheer others up. Thanks for always being around. And see you in buffalo new york!!!

johnny- You've always been bubbly and passing your joy on to others no matter how tense situations get.. You've always been the joy provider and definately brought alot of happiness into my life.. You always try to give and not take, always sweet, always trying to help at the expense of yourself. You've been a good friend to me, making sure im safe, making sure im alright, and i know you're going to find your way in life, and be someone who helps and who gives.

Kj- You're the one that makes the effort to contact me, to ask me out, to treasure the friendship and for that i treasure you even more. We dont see each other often, but everytime we do, all you do is make me laugh, to make me forget my problems and to take me shopping with you. hahaa! And well, your speciality is obviously to make people laugh like crazy.. and scratch and leave marks on people once in awhile. heh. i'll always treasure the times we've spent and the joy you always bring to everyone around you.

Wanyi- Although ive met you for only like one two years??? the first time i said hi to you in class, i know we're going to be friends for life... not just best friend of the year okay.. you've help me in school so much more than you know, and i always feel so comfortable with you i can be as crazy as i want. I love it when we share stuff with each and run around town eating and abit of shopping and eating again. I guess the best thing that monash brought to me is you. :)

Joe- your's is in your card. :) heh.. i shy here..

THE END.

2007-08-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

Ive finally reached and all settled down with internet and all.. so yay!!!!

Pictures will be up soon when i really have time to sit down and upload..

Ive been unpacking and buying stuff for the apartment.. and i even have time to see the niagara!!

Alls well and good.

I miss you guys.. BIG BIG TIME. i wish u guys were here to share everything with me. so people.. those who say you'd come visit.. COME VISIT K? if im not a good enough reason for you guys to fly over... then the SHOPPING IS.... HELLO ALDO IS CHEAP.

so yeah.. I MISS EVERYONE!!!!!!

2007-08-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Okay.. very extremely quick updates...

Went to billy bombers with these lovely people that constantly remind me that there's love in the world.

The reunion brought back fond memories.. i love you guys so much!! Seriously, without you people, i would have missed out on so much in life, and i know ive made friends that will last a lifetime!

.........

Moving along was joe's bday.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!

I certainly hope the little morning surprise made your day!

I really hope u like the presents and all... :)
Love ya!
............

Then there's farewell tita... :(
i miss you so....

Finally my finished and fully healed baby tigers..

And that about wraps it up!!!

Ta ta now!!

2007-08-04T02:11:00.000+08:00

I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA I WANT TITA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

Tita please dont go, please come home. :(

"The only way to feel your joy, is first to feel your saddness."
How freaking true.

2007-08-02T03:27:00.000+08:00

I recieved an sms from grace today, which really got me affected...

As much as i know about whats happened to the korean mission team a few days back, after recieving the sms, i felt a sharp pang of pain and saddness in my gut.. i had to hold in tears while eating my lunch.. i mean.. can you imagine yourself about to die in like 2 hours ???

i dont know how true that particular foward message is.. but it really got me thinking..

There's alot to politics and warfare i dont know about.. but both sides are fighting for their own country.. for their own people.. so why cant they just not kill anybody!?!?!?!? WHY MUST THEY KILL SOMEBODY!?!?! i know its not all that simple... but why shed blood?!?!!?!?!?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY...........
..................

I was in Kino today, picking out a book to buy.. then wanyi brought me to the psychology section where i can find true stories of abused, neglected children..

and i was thinking, if an abused kid were to ask me in future, with teary eyes, "why did God allow this bad bad thing to happen to me?" , then what am i to say?

i certainly know God didnt make or want something terrible to happen to His children... but why does it happen to small innocent children all around the world. One small traumatic incident can change a kid's life forever, alter a child's midset, set the child's course of life. i know through rough times, children learn to be stronger, and if they manage to heal, they'll be able to heal many others, and be great people in life..

Then is it that they are MEANT TO BE ABUSED so that they can help and heal others?!?!! must they go through the ordeal?? what am i to tell a broken child? that sin from past generations cursed this earth and now they suffer the consequences? That sometimes bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people?? That thats just life?

I know God is merciful and loving and its not God im angry with..

Its just that, what am i to tell a child why he/she has to go through rape, beatings, abuse from the ones that are suppose to love them?

i know im being emo... but aiya.. sometimes i cant help but wonder when i be a psychologist.. am i going to be strong enough to take in the brokeness of children..

2007-07-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

Hey guys!!! Thanks for the sweet sweet surprise!!!! All the effort and everything... The barney banners and balloons are way cute...

You people never ever ever ever fail to melt my heart.. i love you guys!!!

Nothing beats having friends like family...

And true family.... :)

I really am blessed to have friends and family i know will last a lifetime, till im old, toothless and flabby, that will share with me a ton of experiences, talk, laugh and cry about our achievements and screw ups, and know that im always loved and that i'll always have people to love as well.

Thanks so much guys, you people made my birthday beautiful as it can be. Every single one of you.

2007-07-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

"When you're at your lowest, on your knees before God's Judgement,

never forget that His grace is still at work. "

Im happy like a small bratty kid splashing around in rain puddles.

I met daddy yesterday for lunch.... and guess what he surprised me with...

Daddy (in his fierce usual look): There's a digicam sale downstairs, later we'll go take a look.
Me: That means you're getting me a new camera???!!?! (all excited and hysterical)

Daddy: .... *grins*

See, daddy was suppose to give me his extra digicam.... but in the end, he decided to get me a brand new one of my own!!! OH DADDY DEAREST!!!! and he was sweet enough to go check it out on his own even before he met me!!

Well, so.. i expected to get something like less than 300 bucks.. because usually, thats how it is... but noooooooo... daddy went to pick those that were like above 400.. and so, being the greedy hell-on-legs daughter i am....

Meet my new sony DSC-T30 in black! Slide slide somemore.. hee hee..

My fierce/strict daddy is so mysteriously sweeeeeet, and funny.

When good things happen to me, its a check that God's hands are still carrying me.
AM I BLESSED OR WHAT!!!

--------

I had an impromptu bbq family outing... and it was real fun!!! Hanging out with family and all just makes my heart tingle with warmth, maybe for the fact that we share a certain percentage of similar genes thanks to my grandparents.

There's many other freaky deaky retarded shots i didnt put up as i may stand the chance of getting slaughtered by my very own cousin.. :)

----------

I need to clean my room that's filled with an abyss of dirt and crap which will take forever to pack, clean, organise and categorise oh my goodness gracious me.

oh well.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

toodle-lee-do.

2007-07-18T00:19:00.000+08:00

I got my eyebrows embroided for $577.80.

Talk about living the good life. wooo!

I LOVE YOU MOMMY DEAREST!!

haha.. okay, i know i might seem materialist and easily bought over... but REALLY, my mom blesses me so much, thinking about it, a mother's love is amazing.. and its really starting to touch/win my heart. im a gift person okay i admit. PFFT. well, ive got a bible verse to prove my point, "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matt 6:21." See, my mom's placing her treasures on me, and thats where her heart is too, its with me!!! <3.>

Id miss my mom's picking on small nitty gritty things when im away from home, or her opening my room door and start rambling on about what stacy trashed in the living room.
When im in canada, firstly i would have NO DOOR TO OPEN within the studio apartment, only a toilet door perhaps, and no more mommy to come knocking on whatever door i even have.... :(

Which reminds me, my visa's like all over the place. darn.

2007-07-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hurry home from Philippines!!! NOW NOW NOW. Your country needs you my good man. you're missed. :)

Ive been up and about... and the best part is ive been hanging with my best buds, so its a real good thing.. and also im doing alot of shopping/hanging out with my mom, which is another good thing.. and ive got my results back and its another good thing..joe's gone for some training thing, which is good for him which is good for me too... everything is going swell, so far so good. My father God in heaven is with me amen hallelujah praise the lord oh mighty God im rambling.

Well so, i went out with ning one fine night last week i think.
And meet the sweet korean girl friend of mine.

Its kinda obvious we share something in common... we love taking photos together.

Tomorrow, im going over to my yongest cousin's place to crash because her parents are out of town. oh yay! and she has a really good place to watch DVDs, and she has a really adorable dog, and i can visit my grandma and i can er... just slack around a really huge house with many many flights of stairs that i can climb up and down and loose some darn gross ugly weight.

Im rambling. i dont know why im rambling, maybe because my brain is currently highly active maybe due to a sugar rush from putting one too many donuts down my fat throat within a few minutes (so much for loosing weight) and my fingers are feeling extremely nimble i feel like i could type on and on and on and forever more and never wanna stop.

okay i should stop.

My 9pm show is starting.

oh hell, goodbye, toodle-lee-do!

2007-07-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

I learnt a new song, its from Lamb Chops Play Along! (if anyone still remembers)..
and this is how it goes..

This is the song that doesnt end..
Yes it goes on and on my friend..
Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was..
and they'll continue singing it forever just because..

This is the song that doesnt end..
Yes it goes on and on my friend..
Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was..
and they'll continue singing it forever just because..

This is the song that doesnt end..................
blah blah blah...

yup... it doesnt really end.

........

im in the mood to finally blog properly, instead of the usual one line captions describing my days..
so here goes..

Malaysia is cancelled due to mom's saying that there's alot of disease infested mosquitoes because of the flooding.

Dubai is cancelled because of i dont know what.

And hongkong is cancelled due to avian flu.

so basically... im staying put..

BUT I WANNA GO SEE MY COUSINS AND MY GRANDPARENTS IN MALAYSIA!! darn it.

Happy thing is, i'll be seeing daddy in about 2 weeks time!! yay!!! and hopefully my sis's coming back...

.........

There's a question lingering in my head....

Can someone please tell me what on earth is "KE KE" that people use online while communicating??? (no offence)

I asked wanyi, and she said : "ke ke" is like.. choked laughter.
How on earth is that relevant in any way???!?!? goodness...

oh wells.

KE KE!! (im choking on my laughter.) im being sarcastic.

2007-07-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

The place im at has artsy fartsy stuff...

A lizard which i randomly will name Izzy...

And ta dah!!! everything is finally done...
i was moaning and groaning my life away.. and its finally complete!!! From october 2006 (i think) all the way to June 2007. omg. the pain.

Thanks Baldwin for everything!!! You the Best Best Tattoo artist ever!! im a very good supporter.

Thanks love for being around to let me hold your hand, crumple your shirt, pinch your finger and buying supplements for me..

And Thanks liz for all the previous times you were around!!! Your presense was a great support. plus potato salad and whatever food u always prepare.

Sah- i'll email the picture to you when i get a nice one.. the pics in my cam now's like all shots of blood and swollen meat... u know what i mean. hahaa! love ya and see you soon.. YIPEE!!!

2007-06-30T22:56:00.000+08:00

I finally got my Dr Martens Laser Cut Out boots!!! yay!!!

My next aim would be this pair of Timberlands.

And maybe a pair of Roxy Ugg boots later on.

YAY!! boots shopping spree!!!

happy girl i am.

2007-06-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

Bye Bye Singapore ..

19 August.

hello london.

hello canada. For the next 10 months.

:)

2007-06-26T13:33:00.000+08:00

During rushing and studying for exams... i had a miracle.

All eight of us were free to meet for shrek 3!!! ALL EIGHT SPECIAL PEOPLE!!! WOOOHOOO!!
My BFF's and their BF's .

:)

yay!!

girls, photo's will be emailed to u all soon.

----

im really lazy to blog..

so exams are over.. and yippede do dah!

and bubbye.

2007-06-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

Life starts on 22 june.

"Just be what you want, just as long as its real."

2007-05-27T13:45:00.000+08:00

Updates on past few days.

Well, the meeting up of 5 of us, became 3. :(:(:(:(

i dont need to say much. the beach.

New Asia Bar. 70 stories up in the air, its BEAUTIFUL!!!!

FYI, my drink's not alcoholic. well, whats new.

Ive just completed my last rush of assignments and now exams are gonna start. After exams, its gonna be a whole new kind of rush again... everythings a rush.

After exams though, i get to go to m'sia again to visit my lovely cute and cuddly cousins, then afterwhich im heading to dubai to visit by beloved sis, then hopefully, i get to go hong kong once more to visit my family friends there.

All these in preparation for my long leave to canada... and after all those short trips, i need to run around singapore to get my visa and clothes and what nots u need in order to study overseas. yes.. i dont think i can even breathe.

And in the midst of all those things, i might not even wanna leave in the end! Some internal conflict i have in my brain, as much as i seem like i wanna go (to joe), but i do lie in my bed and think about everyone i love and need (you people naturally know who u are), and realise their not going to be an hour away from me, its going to be 22 hours and an expensive plane flight away. i think about when its time to pack my stuff in my luggage, and i swear, im gonna pack and cry.. its like packing myself away...

Thinking about it, Its not like i can say, "hey lets meet at city hall!" and BAM, we're all happily together, taking photos, roller blading, hitting one another (okay, thats specially for yisheng), chatting and eating.. its gonna be more of like, eh lets meet at 8 pm on SKYPE. LIKE ... SKYPE?!?!

i might miss God knows how many weddings (most likely liz's since bald's so excited.. hahaha), how many births (lein, im waiting for the baby!!), how many... i dunno what other events to miss.... :(

But thinking about it agian, It was about 2 years ago when i saw a God given vision of myself in Canada (dont ask me how i know that), and i thought it was impossible... i mean seriously...but in the end i realised... never ever doubt God. And plus, he sends and blesses me to one of canada's best uni.... if He gives, He gives THE BEST to his children, and i sooooo agree...

You know its from God, when its the best you can recieve.

Yisheng- Yes i would still want to fly, if your reason is to bring EVERYONE PUBBING FOR CHICKS HUNKS AND DRINKS. cos i DONT NEED CHICKS (well duh), HUNKS (hee hee.. ) and DRINKS (well duh again ). id miss hitting you when u just finish a tattoo though.

2007-05-23T14:09:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG!!! no shit! i recieved another offer letter... AND....i got accepted into my top choice school!!!!!
and i was sulking before because i thought i might not get in!!!

yay!!!!

HELLO TORONTO CANADA!!!!!

HELLO SNOW DURING CHRISTMAS!!!
but i'll freeze my butt off.

sah sah- trips to each other's place, woo hoo!!!

This time, im really happy about it.

:):):):):)

2007-05-20T02:22:00.000+08:00

okay... this is a tincy wincy bit over dued.. but HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN!!!

let me explain the pictures before they are seen.. we are not ACT CUTE JAPANESE POSERS OKAY.

We were in fact kinda mocking it. dont take this personally okay if you happen to ADORE doing japanese cute poses... we were high on buffet food.

happy birthday coz!!!

Now.. let me introduce my hunky uncle whom i simply LOVE ALOT!!

AND TA DA!!! TWIST TWIST LEH!!! from my uncle.

SPARE ME COUSINS FROM POSTING THESE!!!!!

moving on...

i saved an abused dog a few days ago.. now whats new.

i should seriously consider setting up an animal shelter.

Introducing RANDOM. yeah, i named him RANDOM. i fed him, bathed him, and loved him, and was his chew toy...

CHECK HIS SWEET FACE OUT!!!!

But.. he ended up in SPCA... he was too fiesty for stacy.. him being so huge.. he could bite stacy's head off. Random left me with a gazillion scars from his rough wrestling antics.

i concluded he should be healthy and young and lovable enough to be set up for adoption...

HE'S SUCH A SWEETIE!!!!! and now he's not with me.. :(

Jas was a great help for calling spca for me..thanks love!!! i wouldnt be able to do it on my own..

i have this desire to keep all the animals i can when i grow up and when im really rich.

...................................................

i recieved an offer letter to canada..

im happy, but not jumping for joy.

should i stay or should i go. - the clash

2007-05-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

Just quick updates before i sink my head in assignments again....

And if you're really bored then continue on, cos the things im gonna type about is going to be pretty mindless braindead chessy stuff.

i had a pretty kick ass dream, mixed with warped characters blended into my subconscious brain.

Firstly... i had a pokemon... who "no prize for guessing" happens to be stacy. AND stacy can fly. White pretty wings she had. In my dream, the story goes that if your pokemon has some kind of power, you would have it too. Thus, my power was flying. just that i didnt have nice pretty wings.

So i was flying along JURONG with a group of my friends with pokemon's and powers, and when i landed, there's this zombie virus going on... and i happily flew away feeling all powerful that the darn virus and zombies cant get me. Thing is, i cant really kill them, i can only hover above them so i'll be safe.

The thing i like about this dream is that its the first dream that i can fly properly in. Usually, in dreams where i can fly, i cant really control my flying power.

moving on.

okay so... now im into mangosteens ( i dont know if ive got the spelling right) and I LOVE BUBBLES!

On the bubbles part, its been a long time since i played with bubbles in the shower, u know how we clutch our hands then open them then blow out a bubble then catch it again with our soapy hands and stay in the shower for eons?? so reminiscing on the fun i had in the past..i decided to start playing with soap bubbles again..

i made a snowman today, and roleplayed a sci-fi scene, where i had power like micah's father in heroes, and my fingers can pass through an invisible shield (the soap bubble) to reach for something that can destroy the WORLD..

one fine day, im going to soap up the walls of my toilet (so that the bubbles wont burst) and blow as many soap bubbles as i possibly can. HAH.

I have this secret desire to be anorexic. but i love eating. so .. whatever. :(

I wanna have a pure gold heart locket and wear it forever and ever!!! my other one faded. :(:(:(

End of mindless stuff.

Tmr's mom's day!!! So Happy Mothers Day to all lovely mom's out there!!!!

Apparently in the ten commandments, the fifth commandment of "Thou shall honor your father and mother" is apparently the MOST DIFFICULT to obey... i bet all children out there would know what i mean at VARIOUS points in life, especially when we're living under the same roof.

But the fact of the matter is, we are DARN BLESSED to be staying under the wings of our parents. Some of us dont have moms or dads or both. im happy enough to have my mom within reach every single day of my life.

So to all kids (including myself, i refuse to believe im getting older), good luck with the fifth commandment!

2007-05-07T16:47:00.000+08:00

Im infuriated..

i was just reading some compulsory reading for some ethics assignment, and its about this mother who was sent to jail for killing her son... well... accidentally.. by shaking him too hard, and he died of head injuries.

well.. firstly, she had an IQ of 68.. was physically abused and raped by her actually father and foster father....after having children, she sought help with doctors and family care centers as she could not cope, but no one responded, everyone ASSUMED she was OKAY.

well guess what, due to all the stress and her low intellectual ability and lifetime of abuse, her child died.

NOW... is it HER fault she tried to avoid it by seeking help but no one bothered? is it her fault she suffered as a child then turned out abusive herself??? and now a child died, which could have been avoided if authorities were to be more USEFUL.

and SHE is going to jail.. then who's going to punish her previous caretakers that abused her? who's going to punish the authorities for negligence?

and her family members say "she deserved a longer sentence.."

Who ever said blood is thicker than water... pfft..

im not saying its okay for her to kill her child, she did seek external help, but the professionals didnt bother, so shouldnt they too take the responsibility as well?? and not her carry the blame and shame on her own???

seriously, if im going to grow up working in this line, i need to learn to be objective. dang, its impossible.

:(

2007-05-06T02:56:00.000+08:00

Finally...

After three months.....

THE KL PHOTOS ARE UP ON MULTIPLY!!!!

click here .

(if you're interested in my really cute cousins and a hunky photo of my dad dancing topless.. ahahahaaa!).

:)

2007-05-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

Random "believe it or not" shots from yesterday...

1. Believe me or not, we're walking home.

2. Believe me or not, im "piggy-backing" him.

3. See the cup in the above picture? Believe me or not, he had too much to drink and conveniently found a bush.

4. Believe me or not.. this man is afraid of dogs. AFRAID.

5. Believe me or not... i LOVE MY DOG and cant live without her.

6. Believe me or not.... This man is having a headache at that point in time all because of me.

7. Believe me or not.. i have a flower growing out of my head.

so..... Believe or not???

"I feel the earth, move, under my feet..."

2007-05-05T03:24:00.000+08:00

I have come to love

Gold
Jogging
Alfie

AND i love long walks home. walk walk walk walk walk walkwalkwalk walk walkwalkwalk walk walk walk walk walk walkwalkwalk walk walkwalkwalk walk walk walk walk walk walkwalkwalk walk walkwalkwalk.

Point is.. yes i love walking. home.

2007-05-03T18:05:00.000+08:00

I was just finishing up on some info for my application to canada.. and... i realised im really torn between kids and convicts..

i dont know who i should aim to help in future when i graduate...
Modules i pick are gonna be important.... i hate making choices at such a YOUNG age. Both areas are darn interesting and intriguing... URGH.

Kids now have to make choices at age 12. which school, which course, which whatever.. how would they know yet what they'd REALLY WANNA DO!?!?!

Well anyway... Thats life.

so... kids or convicts??? a lil help please......

And chris.. CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!! i feel your happiness!!!

2007-05-01T13:49:00.000+08:00

Dog run day!!!!

3 couples, 3 dogs...

Humans and companions include... bel, jordan, mambo, liz, bald, citrin (how to spell??), mel, joe and stace.

Well.. the huge grass patch at west coast was sooooo wet and muddy, EVERYONE had their fair share of mud everywhere... from FACE all the way to FEET. dogs and humans included.

All in all, when the dogs have fun, the people have fun too.. yay! regardless dirty or clean...

Well well, look what we've got here... mambo caught in the act of..... erm.... yah...
Whatever the picture tells you.

DOG LOVERS UNITE!!!

2007-04-28T15:52:00.000+08:00

Oh so happy!!! all thanks to regina and her little online business.. I added a little more gold to my collection...

Somemore got home delivery especially for me... ahhahaaa..

So regi.. when are u getting married???

Le-Little Shop <--Click

(If u are interesting in accessory shopping)

Met up with Alex Loh hui hui today!!! Like finally after a gazillion years...

We had a good chat and update over breakfast... and you are sorely missed...Stay strong!!!

Kudos to today!

And well.. ive come to realise this shot looks like we're "wanna be" Hollywood Stars... we're both good posers...

Anyway... i could have never asked for more when you stumbled into my messed up life and made it right in the most understanding and tender way ever..Your gentleness amazes me, and how u expect nothing out of me but just to love you. You must be God's secret angel on a mission and you dont know it yourself.

You make me one darn happy little grown up girl.

Oh Oh!!! yesterday joe and i went to yisheng's place to have dinner... and yisheng.. i just got to say.. you're one good cook! (ahem ahem.. )

i seriously brought the cam to take pics of the food... but then your mom was around.. so i didnt wanna be seen prancing around during dinner time with a cam.. AND plus.. you would say "there goes the camera again".. so sadly... ive got NO SHOTS...

Anyways.. open a restaurant!! and name it "Precious Yummy Thots" or something... ahahahaaa... not funny i know...

Okay. bye bye.

2007-04-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

Met joo the other day, and we had good sushi eating and movie watching time... BUT of course.. the something "different" we did was to play XBOX at Cineleisure.

RAD huh joo...WOO!

Thus we played halo and took turns being some juggernaut running around rough terrain playing catching.

When's our next match?!!?

............................................

And FINALLY!! met up with jasmine tan fusion... i miss you so!!!!

Oh yah.. the doggies met up too.... i love em sooooo!!!!

AND.... my love surprised me a laptop sleeve!!! Sakura gardens!! yay!! thanks so so so so so much!!!! now i dont have to drag my other black heavy laptop bag to the far far away library.........

So... if u guys wanna get funky cool lovely cases for your various gadgets like laptops, ipods, digicams and whatnots... and u wanna have a special design that you'd rarely see someone else has... shop at Fabrixcases <----click it!!!

They have really nice designs for both guys and girls... its real real cool... they customise stuff too...

Go see k guys??? the site's really nice...

...................................

okay... thats about done for my past few days... i FINALLY finsished my two assignments which took at least 3 weeks to complete.. which means stuck at home or the library and not having fun.... but im FREE now!!!!

not for long though... so .. guys meet up before im deprived of fun again...

Liz... kj... our triple date... coming soon... after liz finishes her FYP.

Chris, johhny... tattoo??? hahahaa!

Alex! twin!!! Saturday breakfast!!! ahahahaaa! (i feel like having kway chap leh) which compass point obviously doesnt have.. sigh..

oh wells.... yay!!

2007-04-11T00:54:00.000+08:00

Met up with my Hong Kong family friends today!! yay!

And ive got a dark confession to make...

im pregnant.

i gave brith.

And now i have a two and a half year old son.

meet my boy...

Or so i like to think... hahahaaa! aint he the sweetest!!!!

.........................................................

And now.. for the extrememly happy news.

Screw the 22 working days thing...

im blogging with my new notebook!!! WOO HOO!

Introducing Affinty white edition.
Equipped with microsoft vista business edition and microsoft office 2007.

Im a pampered pampered daddy's little girl....

YAY!

2007-04-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO FUJITSU AFFINITY!!

Okay... like in 22 working days time that is....

Darn....

.........................................................

Its late and im still miserably studying... thus ive decided to harp on the fact that my lappie is coming soon...

Anyway, i came across this pictorial book of prison in the national library the other day.. and well... apparently the name of Jesus appeared almost 90% in all the photos..

The prisoners left their marks, not by carving "F*CK LIFE" on the walls, but instead, John 3:16 appeared, the DRAWING of the crucifixtion of Jesus, the cross, Jesus saves, and drawings or verses of anything that could remind them that there was a Jesus, there was still hope, plastered the walls that held them prisoners of their own sin.

Of course there were the exceptions, where hot chicks and dragons were carved/pasted/drawn on the walls.. but still.. a good strong percentage was about Jesus.

might i add... they were great artists...

Can u imagine... a whole concentration of murderers, criminals, people that are deemed and judged as EVIL, MONSTROUS, BEYOND HUMANE, locked up together in shared cells.. and instead of thinking or conversing of bloodshed and sin..90% was about God, about the hope he won't leave them.

Talk about amazing grace...
Talk about being omnipresent...
Even in the gallows, there's still hope..
Even in the thickest choking atmosphere of sin, shame and bloodstained hands, its still 90% God, and 10% whatever else there is...

So if you are feeling helpless, hopeless, that all is dark and forboding... get over it..and know there's hope, you're not in prison, so you're much better off. You probably have in fact 100% God.

How cool is Jesus.

A little Easter special...

"The Lord has promised good to me...

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...

as long as life endures."

2007-04-06T19:55:00.000+08:00

Met up with daddy today...

and i got a new bag, new ipod jacket, and... it made me a really happy girl..

Happy girl i am, because happy girl is going to get a laptop!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!

So... someone, anyone, tell me which laptop is good, best, the greatest???

SOMEBODY HELP!!!!

oh im so happy!!!! IM SO BLESSED!!!

YAY!!!

2007-04-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

i sprained my baby toe.

PRETTY RAD ISNT IT. (thanks joo)

............................................................................................

I just watched Little Miss Sunshine with joo.

And i realised how a devastatingly sad and broken down family can actually be so AVAILABLE for each other after a whole road trip of saga-drama-mama filled set backs, which were of course rather funny, somewhat retarded, at the same time despairing...

But in the end, comically heart warming...

Meet the cast.

I SIMPLY LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Back to reality a little...

Due to sprained toe.. i cant go jogging...

new plan.

TO THE LIBRARY!!
If i cant jog... i'll grind away instead..

i enjoy being in the reference section though.. all the books that u find are all so heavily loaded with knowledge (that im interested in of course) , its like gratification to your innate hunger for more enlightenment. ahhhhh...

AND it makes me feel smarter. FEEL.. not being naturally smart is taking a toll on me... i need alittle personal egoistic motivation to enhance my self- esteem so that i can see myself taking my masters... Then i can say hi to either KK hospital or prison inmates.. i can only hope..

yes..

i've morphed into a new age nerd.

YAY!

2007-03-31T19:52:00.000+08:00

Hey now, the past is told by those who win
My darling, what matters is what hasn't been
Hey now, we're wide awake and we're thinking
My darling, believe your voice can mean something
Say hello to good times...

-jimmy eat world-

....................................................

i realised my balanced healthy lifestyle is quite gone....

ive been spending most of my time in books or jogging, and... thats about it..

Thanks to deadlines of assignmentSSSSS that all land on the same day.. thats about it for playing for me...

I could only hope, im growing smarter and healthier by the day...

Happy thing is... my tigers are left with one more session and they are FINALLY DONE!!!!.

Go baldwin go!!!

2007-03-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

These were the words from my wise and VERY VERY.. VERY.. I MEAN VERYYYY handsome lecturer from australia, who's words and EVERYTHING ELSE melted my heart...

The only way to study about love, is to study about loss....

I suddenly wanna study in australia... gippsland campus please....

i feel proud of myself these few days, or weeks rather... i find im having quite a fulfilled healthy lifestyle.

i've been doing all the healthy stuffs about life.. EXCEPT a healthy diet of course...

And like the typical good healthy girl i am i did:

jogging
walking, bathing, feeding stacy
studying
met up with friends
hanging out with mom
playing puzzle bobble
and most recent .. watching south park.

ON A CONSTANT BASIS MIND YOU. not once a while.

im WORKING HARD, PLAYING HARD and EXERCISING HARD at the same time.. and i thought that was impossible. happy and content i am.

And whoever said south park's satanic is a down right liar. my gosh. that comment alone made me miss out on south park all my life.. till recently when johhny psyched me into watching one episode last year...

i still remember, when young... everytime south park appears on tv, i'll change the channel. that was HOW i AVOIDED south park cos it was "satanic".

i realise, when people cant take honest truths about the world.. they just say, its satan, and it settles everything.

oh well.

not that im helping satan of course.. i do abhor him still.

South park actually does talk about good morals, and family love and what nots... how is that satanic... its just that south park talks about the negative reality in life as well...in a funny way..

..................................................................

okay... just in case u people want to play buzzle bobble. the link is HERE.

If u people wanna watch all episodes all seasons of south park, its HERE.

If u people wanna watch episodes of OTHER stuff, like heroes or prison break or what nots... its HERE.

2007-03-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

I was on my way to school one morning and started thinking about life.

i realised that actually

with lots of money, lots of love and lots of health,

a person can do many great things for this world.

saddest thing.
most rich people dont have that much love,

and most loving people dont have that much money.

Of course there are exceptions lah..

Moving on...

Im being a poser

So dont say.. OMG IS MEL SMOKING!??!
no she isnt..

i had a good meeting up day with friends a few days ago i think.. haha!
Thus i had to take down lovely memorial photo's right..

It started with studying with wanyi... Hardworking people we are..

It was the end of our so called mugging when our heavenly ice cream arrived.

After fattening myself up with cream and sugar... i met the EXTREMELY SLIM kj.
i mean... what a way to rub the fact in that "I'M SO FAT."

Then we met yisheng. hee.. who happens to be slim too. :(

The nonsense trio.

Since yisheng is entering NATIONAL SERVICE. Congrats on that.
we made an extremely abrupt decision to stay over at his place..
and of we go to kj's place to get clothes.

i found kj's love shrine. hahahaa! sweet like like.. the chipmunks.

After stopping at kj's place, it was my place we went..

Finally.. reunion... ahhhh..bliss...

And yes.. this is as stupid as it gets..
kj dont kill me.. im not any good looking either..

i find this entry is about how i spoilt my whole salad diet..
Continuing on...

On another day..
Off to hogs breathe cafe joe and i went..

Happy i was before i ate and when i was eating...
regret caught up quite quickly as well.

And then it was desserts!!!
SO MUCH FOR DIETING.

All in all.. nice lovely GLORIOUS fattening days!!!

And as hannial likes to say...

"tata!"

2007-03-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

We finally reunite after a long long long while... Day of Hannibal rising!!!!

Tee hee..

The boys...

Headed on for food before the movie....

After the movie, we went for a drink which i obviously am unable to do.. so sadly, i just sat there looking at the boys enjoying their alcohol. Something which im HIGHLY allegic to. yes i am.

My act of sophistication kicked in as i was desperately trying to find something to do..

And thank God joe found some stuff for me to do... monkey see, monkey do...

Later on at night, as joe headed to get the car so that we can all go home safely.. we helpfully abandoned him at the sight of a playground, leaving him out on all the fun.

Being 20 years old, we just cant help ourselves...

:)

...................

Then i had the chance to meet up with alex and xin xin after an afternoon of studying at the library... OH ARENT THEY THE SWEETEST.

We decided we'd love taking a photo with spiderman...

Then proceeded to retarded-poses photo taking session... conveniently cutting spidey out of the picture.

okay.. with the happy stuff aside...
I REALLY NEED TO LOOSE WEIGHT. oh help.

my weight can kill and elephant.

dang.

:(:(:(:(

2007-03-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

Read this if only u are interested in hannibal OR psycho killers...Cos its going to be long long long..

i watched hannibal rising.. and it got me thinking... alot...

Apart from young hannibal lecter being the most charmingly suave man on the universe, in intellect, demeanour and speech, he's actually the saddest saddest kid ive ever met.

im not being bias here just because he looks good.. before watching hannibal rising, i thought hannibal (anthony hopkins) was just some sick sick man that likes to eat people.. but after knowing his past, i find.. those people deserve to get eaten, and i dont find him BAD in anyway any more, as long as he's not eating ME of course.. he's just a very hurt and angry man.

And i give him a plus point for being smart at what he does as well.. after going through all the trauma, he turned out to be sophisticated in mannerisms (exception for table manners) and has a PH.D for goodness sake. He plays with people's minds like mouldable clay and can solve police cases in the quickest way possible!

He's calm, cool, smooth and smart.. and the movie makes it seem he is invinsible..he cant be trialed cos he's a psychopath, so he's never going to die before his time... he ALWAYS wins a fight and eats his prize ravagely, he's like superman(invinsible), in a twisted way.. his anger seems to give him exceptional abilities in strength.. And i find he eats people for a reason.. he doesnt RANDOMLY eat anyone anyway! He does have respect for people he deems deserving of respect and seemingly does seem to CARE!! if u think about it..

my new idol.

not that im saddistic of course.. but at the same time it doesnt give anyone the right to go out and start killing others because of a sad childhood.. hannibal is an exception, and hannibal IS humane in MANY MANY ways.. GO WATCH THE FREAKING SHOW!!! the ending is way cool, the music and all...

JOO: u MUST watch hannibal rising!!!! must must must must must!!! i wanna get into one of our in-depth conversations about him with you!!!

i wanna watch the whole series of hannibal now..

Thus my new aim in life would be... maybe after i graduate.. i would wanna work in prison with those prison inmates... and maybe have a glimpse of their lives and make a difference.. TA DA!!!

Then go back to working with kids.. hopefully.. hahahaa! im one confused girl.

Its true how we always call murderers, rapists EVIL or CRAZY when we dont know what they went through themselves.. u never know if THEY got raped, or their parents tortured them when they were only kids.. u just never know..

so DONT JUDGE.

its a whole different story though if u are the victim of a murder or rape.. i highly doubt i would be typing all this if i almost got murdered or raped.. id probably be bitter and enraged and would definately NOT bother about how pitiful their childhood is...

oh well... mankind is confusing enough already.. i shall not go into the victims side of the story...

.............................

okay!! im off to surprise my mom...its her birthday in a few minutes time!!!

yay!

2007-03-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

To those that need an answer..

Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can't figure out
What is this attraction?
I only feel the pain
There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will it ever change?

Cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don't suppose it's worth the price,
The price that I would pay
But I'm thinking it over anyway...

i need to believe i can be free..

2007-03-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

I heart balloons many many.. ...

Updates once again..

extended a tattoo...

meet three of the mod crew..

Then a little sheesha fun..

liz attempted to do emo shots for me... which er.. werent really successful. i suck with emo shots.

And little perky elise teo.

Tigers were also continued...

Then.. ITS CLASS TIME!! ive never been happier to start studying again.

Meet the shy.. and the not so shy...

And a new semester has began!

i came home today STUDYING.. my gosh... i cant believe im starting studying THIS early in the sem... im on a ROLL!!!

im a nerd, and im proud of it.

TO YISHENG:
CONGRATS ON YOUR A LEVELS U CLEVER CLEVER A STUDENT!!! !!! so happy for you!! all the studying like mad paid off!! :):):)

2007-03-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes your Heaven is Hell and you don't know why..."

After coming back from KL, ive suddenly got the urge to play the nintendo pokemon game...

oh somebody save me and help me ease this ravenous craving....

How to Help:

-pass me a nintendo gameboy with the pokemon game included.
-send/email me the computer version of the game.

thank you all many many.

So much for me wanting to act my age... seriously, im acting my shoe size now...

BUT ITS POKEMON!

:)

2007-02-19T18:39:00.003+08:00

UPDATES!!!

goodnews... ive got my sis and digicam back in my life...

Chronologically...

Valentines day was sweetness..

Chinese new year eve was rockin...

Chinese new year was good bonding...

And my KL trip!!!

MEET MY KICKASS AWESOMELY ADORABLE COUSINS!!!

i miss them already.. i miss all the card and board games we played..........
im going to toys "r" us.. sleeping queens and landlock here i come!!!!

And er... hee hee... new phone cover...

Thats about it for my very quick updates...

the rest of my KL trip photos will be up soon!!! i hope.. if laziness doesnt kick in...

im out.

2007-02-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

Guys... check out my new heart throb....

BRANDON FLOWERS everybody...

lead funky cool suave singer from The Killers.

Isnt he the sweetest thing....

sigh...

2007-02-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

"We all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss..."

-Paulo Coelho

Isnt that so true.

Life's such a contradiction..

no?

2007-01-31T18:14:00.000+08:00

Your smile and kindness... somehow makes me feel its all of pretense.. IT IRKS ME! If all u wanna do is to get the job done, then SHAME ON YOU.

Im not perfect i know... but at least im not FAKE. my gosh!!!! and I have to submit to you! EW EW EW EW EW. u are DISGUST itself, literally, in every sense of the word.

Dont ask.

Im all angst up thanks to overflowing bacteria.

2007-01-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

Meet ROCKY :)

It seems obvious that rocky is trying to kill me by cutting off my oxygen supply, or perhaps breaking my neck...

And i am also obviously panicky but still trying to act cool..

And meet mr snake man!!! he's the sweetest!

Today, grace lim hui juan, who is the girl that can tick me off like nobody's business, at the same time melt my heart into a pile of goo came to find me at work, and best of all, WAITED FOR 4 hours till i finish work.

how not to love like this.......

Some stuff after work and bible study today!

Since Colin was intoxicated with joy by his discovery of THE BLUE STAIRS like a small kid that first set his eyes on bubbles... we took photos...

Chilling like ice cream filling :)

Yup.. my eyelids are currently failing me.. so im not elaborating much..

My love goes out to all!

toodlely-doo!